I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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