i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
