I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
