My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
