I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
