my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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