Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
