well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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