I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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