Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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