It's like God shit irony all over that family
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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