Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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