a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
