I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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