dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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