THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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