Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
