Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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