Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
