ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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