chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
