and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I booty called her while she was in labor.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
