what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize