We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize
