You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
