gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
