I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
