Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
