How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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