Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
We're too hungover to prance.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
