i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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