on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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