people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
