He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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