I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
