Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
