This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
