And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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