i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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