Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize