I want to stick my p in your. b.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
