I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
well most of my day revolves around power hour
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
