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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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