And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
