His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
