I want to walk on stilts...naked
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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