drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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