You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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