The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
