You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A+ Viking dick
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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