no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
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He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
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Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize