What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize