belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
