my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
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