Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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