the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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