your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Randomize
