I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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