Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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