The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
