I'm sorry my penis didn't work
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
