New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
