So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
