Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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