i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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