I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
