well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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