R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Randomize
