Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.