I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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