I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
