oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
