So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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