i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I woke up under a house in Key West
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize