Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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