Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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