We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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