dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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