I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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